If you’re a teacher of students with autism, or a parent of a child with autism, you already know that they find many aspects of daily life more difficult than neurotypical people do. This includes the difficulties your students or child can have with social skills. Some children with autism have little interest in building social relationships other kids, but other autistic kids want to make friends and spend time with peers. The extent to which an autistic child finds social skills challenging depends on their:
individual experiences of interactions with others,
communication and language skills,
sensory processing difficulties,
and social perspective,
According to the Indiana Resource Center for Autism “Impairment in social functioning is a central feature of ASD”.
In this blog post we’ll look at how autism can make learning social skills difficult for your students or child, and what you can do to help them develop their social communication and social relationship skills.
How are social defecits caused by autism?
Scientific research has found that the brains of children and adults with autism differ in size from, and appear to grow at different rates from, neurotypical children. These differences in the brains of children with autism can impact how their sensory processing system and communication skills develop.
The sensory processing differences experienced by your students or child with autism causes them to need predictability. This can lead to rigid thinking patterns and difficulty with flexibility (eg always wanting to do the same activities in the same order each day, while wearing the same color of t-shirt). Difficulties with being flexible make it harder for students with autism to understand social rules in the classroom or school which have lots of exceptions or variations. Once a social rule is learned eg say hello to all adults you meet in school, it can be difficult for autistic students to learn that they shouldn’t say speak to strangers.
Does anxiety affect social skills?
Anxiety and stress cause difficulties with self-regulation which trigger the Sympathetic Nervous System of children with autism, preparing their body for Fight or Flight. When a child with autism is frequently in such a state of stress, it becomes more difficult to form social relationships with family, peers and others.
Why are social situations stressful for people with autism?
Social situations usually involve lots of sensory input, which commonly include auditory, visual, olafactory and tactile information for the brain to process. Because of the way autistic brains function differently from the neurotypical brain, your students or child with autism will have difficulty filtering out too much sensory input, causing them to become easily overwhelmed.
Do autistic people understand social cues?
Social cues are mostly non-verbal forms of communication such as body language, and facial expressions. Children with autism do not instinctively learn to read social cues so basic, everyday social cues often need to be taught.
Social Skills difficulties in children with autism can include:
appearing to ignore people (because there’s too much sensory information going on)
delays in answering people (because time is needed to process what’s been said)
invading personal body space
touching other people too much or avoiding touch eg hugs
sniffing people
laughing at things which aren’t funny, or not laughing at jokes
speaking to quietly or too loudly
talking about one topic over and over (because it really interests them)
saying the same phrase over and over (because they need to self-soothe by stimming)
asking too many questions
asking intrusive questions
not knowing what to say, or saying the wrong thing
Can a child with autism learn basic Social Skills?
Reducing the sensory input that your students or child with autism have to process on a daily basis will help them feel calmer so their brain can focus more on building social connections with you. Some students with autism can find it easier to form relationships with school staff that they know well and trust. Many children with autism are most likely to form stronger connections with the adults who are useful to them.
Social Skills which have straightforward rules can be learned in a variety of situations such as home, school, and the child’s community. Playing simple turn taking games teaches children with autism to wait their turn, listen to others and share items, as well as teaching vocabulary and basic language concepts.
Social Rules which have lots of exceptions can be more difficult to learn, especially for children with autism who have all-or-nothing black-and-white thinking because they tend to categorize all actions as good or bad, with nothing in between.
It can take a lot of time and patience to teach your students or child with autism social functioning skills and basic manners such as saying, or signing, please and thank you, or greeting people in their school or community. Breaking new skills down into smaller steps, clearly explain why they are useful or necessary, can help children with autism to learn basic, everyday social skills. Temple Grandin recommends using 1950’s Methods for Teaching Social Skills.
The social skills which you feel are most important to teach your autistic students or child might vary depending on the culture where you live, and the age of the children. For younger children with autism you might start by teaching kindness to others by showing them how to be gentle with their hands, but you might teach older students with good language skills how to be kind and considerate when sending text messages.
Alongside teaching social rules you will need to continue teaching communication skills. Most children with autism who are pre-verbal can learn to communicate by speaking, signing, or using AAC devices. It’s important to remember that non-verbal children with autism need to be given lots and of opportunities to communicate.
Some autism therapies such as ABA recommend modelling social skills to children with autism either in person or on video, This strategy requires students with autism to already have good imitation skills and a desire to copy others, on order to benefit from method for learning social skills.
Do all students with autism benefit from social skills training?
Autism Social Skills Training (SST) is usually taught in groups by teachers, therapists or psychologists. It teaches greeting, conversation skills, body language, and how to behave in social settings. Controversially SST often also teaches eye-contact. Many autistic adults advise against teaching children with autism to make eye contact in a forced or structured way as eye contact can be unpleasant, uncomfortable, or even painful for autistic individuals. The Hanen Centre (Early Language Program) says that young children should learn about eye contact in natural everyday situations, and Do Autism Differently (formerly known as the Son- Rise Program) recommends fun games to encourage children to make eye contact.
Social Skills Training which is taught in groups can cause anxiety in children with autism, and doesn’t always take account of the sensory processing difficulties of the students. Insisting your students or child behave in specific ways in social situations where they feel uncomfortable can lead to masking. Masking behaviors in autism can lead to more stress and agitation, and long term mental health problems.
Autism Social Skills Activities
Teaching social skills to your students or child with autism will be most effective if you use activities which interest and motivate them. Before you plan social skills activities you need to carefully observe your students or child in order to assess what social relationship skills they already have and build on them. For not-yet-verbal children with autism start with sensory activities, fun active games, songs, music & movement etc to help them engage with and relate to you. Take it slowly and don’t try to force them to interact with you. Be respectful of how they feel and what they are trying to communicate to you.
For your early language learners who have developed a long enough attention span to interact with you for a few minutes, playing simple Speech & Language Games is a fun, relaxed way to work on basic social relationship goals.
For verbal students with autism, who have good receptive language skills, more structured Social Skills activities can be used to use your special education classroom, homeschool or speech therapy.