How Does Autism Affect Social Skills?
Children, teens and adults with autism find many aspects of daily life more difficult than neurotypical people do. This includes the difficulties they can have with social skills. The extent to which an autistic person finds social skills challenging depends on their own unqiue experiences of interactions with others, their own social perspective, their communication and language skills, and their sensory processing difficulties.
Some kids with autism want to make lots of friends and spend time with peers, while others have little interest in building social relationships with people unless they share common interests and hobbies.
In this blog post we’ll look at how autism can make learning social skills difficult for your students or child, and what you can do to help them develop their social communication and social relationship skills.
How are social defecits caused by autism?
Scientific research has found that the brains of children and adults with autism differ in size and that parts of the brain appear to grow at different rates from neurotypical children. These differences in the brains of children and adults with autism can impact how their sensory processing system and communication skills develop.
The sensory processing differences experienced by children with autism also cause them to need predictability as they grow up. This can lead to rigid thinking patterns and difficulty with flexibility (eg a child might always want to do the same activities in the same order each day while wearing the same color of t-shirt). Difficulties with being flexible make it harder for children and adults with autism to understand social rules which have lots of exceptions or vary in different situations. Once a social rule is learned eg say hello to all adults you meet in school, it can be difficult for kids with autism to learn that they shouldn’t say speak to strangers.
Does anxiety affect social skills?
Anxiety and stress cause difficulties with self-regulation which trigger the Sympathetic Nervous System of children with autism, preparing their body for Fight or Flight. When a child with autism is frequently in such a state of stress, it becomes more difficult to form social relationships with family, peers and others.
Why are social situations stressful for people with autism?
Social situations usually involve lots of sensory input, which commonly include auditory, visual, olafactory and tactile information for the brain to process. Because of the way autistic brains function differently from the neurotypical brain, they have difficulty filtering out too much sensory input, so they become easily overwhelmed.
Do autistic people understand social cues?
Social cues are mostly non-verbal forms of communication such as body language, and facial expressions. Young children with autism do not instinctively learn to read social cues, unlike their neurotypical peers, so social cues need to be taught.
Examples of Social Skills difficulties in children with autism:
appearing to ignore people (because there’s too much sensory information going on)
delays in answering people (because time is needed to process what’s been said)
invading personal body space
touching other people too much or avoiding touch eg hugs
sniffing people
laughing at things which aren’t funny, or not laughing at jokes
speaking to quietly or too loudly
talking about one topic over and over (because it really interests them)
saying the same phrase over and over (because they need to self-soothe by stimming)
asking too many questions
asking intrusive questions
not knowing what to say, or saying the wrong thing
Can a person with autism learn appropriate Social Skills?
Reducing the sensory input that your students or child with autism have to process on a daily basis will help them feel calmer so their brain can focus more on building social connections with you. Reducing the demands which are placed on kids with autism will give them a greater feeeling of control over their life, which in turn will make it easier for them to trust their classmates, siblings, and the adults in their life at home and school. As trust is built they will find it easier to form relationships. Children with autism are most likely to form stronger connections with the adults who are useful to them.
Social Skills which have straighforward rules can be learned in a variety of situations such as home, school, the community, and clubs. Playing simple turn taking games teaches children to wait their turn, listen to others and share items, as well as teaching vocabulary and basic language concepts.
Social Rules which have lots of exceptions can be more difficult to learn, especially for children with autism who have all-or-nothing black-and-white thinking because they tend to categorize all actions as good or bad, withh nothing in between. However the Son Rise program has developed techniques which can help children with autism learn to be more flexible.
It can take a lot of time and patience to teach your students or child with autism social functioning skills and manners such as saying or signing please and thank you, or greeting people. It’s helpful to break new skills down into smaller steps, clearly explain why they are useful or necessary, and to focus on one social skill or rule at a time. Temple Grandin recommends using 1950’s Methods for Teaching Social Skills.
The social skills which you feel are most important to teach your students or child with autism might vary depending on the culture where you live, and the age of the children. For younger children you might teach kindess towards and respect for other by teaching them to be gentle with their hands, but for older more able students you might teach them to be kind and considerate when sendging text messages.
Alongside teaching social rules you will need to continue teaching communication skills. Most children with autism who are pre-verbal can learn to communicate by speaking, signing, or using AAC devices. It’s important not to write these children off as not intelligent, and to remember that non-verbal children with autism need to be given lots and of opportunities to communicate.
Some autism therapies such as ABA recommend modeling social skills to children with autism either in person or on video, but your student or child with autism would require to have good immitation skills and a desire to copy others to benefit from this strategy.
Does autism social skills training work?
Autism Social Skills Training (SST) is usually taught in groups by teachers, therapists or psychologists. It teaches greeting, conversation skills, bidy language, and how to behave in social settings. Controversially SST often also teaches eye-contact. Many autistc adults advise against teaching children with autism to make eye contact in a forced or structured way as eye contact can be unpleasant, uncomfortable or even painful for autistic individuals. The Hanen Centre (Early Language Program) says that young children should learn about eye contact in natural everyday situations, and the Son- RIse Program uses fun games to encourage children to make eye contact.
Social Skills Training which is taught in groups can cause anxiety in children with autism, and doesn’t always take account of the sensory processing difficulties of the students. Insisting your students or child behave in specific ways in social situations where they feel uncomfortable can lead to masking. Masking behaviors in autism can lead to children or adults supressing stims which help them self-regulate, which then leads to more stress and aggitation, and even long term mental health problems.
Autism Social Skills Activities
Teaching social skills to your students or child with autism will be most effective if you use activities which interest and motivate them. Before you plan social skills activities you need to carefully observe your students or child in order to assess what social relationship skills they already have and build on them. For not-yet-verbal children with autism start with sensory activities, fun active games, songs, music & movement etc to help them engage with and relate to you. Take it slowly and don’t try to force them to interact with you. Be respecful of how they feel and what they are trying to communicate to you.
For your early language learners who have developed a long enough attention span to interact with you in a simple card game I have created lots of Speech & Language Games to play with your students or child with autism.
For verbal students with good receltive language skills I have created lots of fun and engaging Social Skills resources for you to use inyour autism classroom, homeschool or speech therapy. Take a closer look at these Social Skills Resources:
I hope you’ve found this post helpful!
Kirsten
P.S. If you have any questions about how to teach kids with autism or about any of my resources, I’d love to hear from you! You can reach me at kirsten@curriculumforautism.com
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